Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Music For A Political Convention

Eurythmics - Would I Lie to You?

Liar, Liar - The Castaways (1965)

Lies - The Knickerbockers

Lies - Rolling Stones

The Beatles' Taxman

The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again

AC/DC - Highway to Hell

Talking Heads Road To Nowhere Lyrics

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son (Lyric Video)

AC DC Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap 1976

AC/DC - Moneytalks

The Yardbirds - Dazed and Confused (720p HD)

Dirty Laundry by Don Henley [News Parody]

"You're No Good" w/lyrics- Linda Ronstadt

The Undisputed Truth - Smiling Faces Sometimes - 1971

Abba - Money, Money, Money

The O'Jays - For The Love of Money (Audio)

Pink Floyd - Money (Official Music Video)

The Beatles - Money (That's What I Want)

The Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil -HQ

The rolling stones-You can't always get what you want

Eurythmics - The King and Queen of America

The Kingston Trio - M.T.A.

The O'Jays - Back Stabbers (Audio)

The Beatles - Nowhere Man

The Pretenders - Back On The Chain Gang HQ Music

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising (Lyric Video)

What Did You Learn In School Today Pete Seeger 21 24

"Games People Play" - Joe South - 1969

Ending Music - "Day of Wrath"
Dies Irae, Dies Illa - Monks of the Abbey of St Maurice & St. Maur, Clervaux, Luxembourg

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Church Of Spies

“There's a man who leads a life of danger
To everyone he meets he stays a stranger
With every move he makes 

another chance he takes
Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow

Secret agent man, secret agent man”

So said Johnny Rivers in the theme to the '60s show Secret Agent. Mark Riebling draws a far different picture in his book Church Of Spies in which most of the subjects know each other and use their real names.

When I first heard of the book I thought it was some kind of silly Dan Brown novel with lots of nonsensical theories about cloak and dagger plots. It isn't that at all. It is a short, heavily footnoted (end notes, actually) page turner. The book is only 250 pages, but has an additional 125 pages of notes, index and sources.

Many of the people mentioned in the book will be familiar – at least by name – to most people; Pope Pius XII, Allen Dulles, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Reinhard Heydrich, Heinrich Himmler, Hans and Sophie Scholl and of course Adolf Hitler. Less well known are people like Gereon Goldmann, a Franciscan seminarian who was drafted into the Waffen SS and later wrote about his exploits in The Shadow of His Wings, Rupert Mayer, a Jesuit who won two Iron Crosses in WW I, lost a leg for his efforts and was later jailed for opposing National Socialism, and Josef Muller the man who is pretty much the book's protagonist.

Muller, whom the Nazis considered “the best agent of the Vatican Intelligence in Germany” was a figure that sounds like the product of a spy thriller writer's imagination. As Riebling relates, he was arrested by the Gestapo for trying to kill Hitler.

“He refused to confess, however. 'Muller had nerves like ropes and dominated the situation,' a prison aide recalled. When guards unshackled him, he threw them using jujitsu. His resolve awed other prisoners, who had misjudged him as a regular Joe. 'To look at,' wrote a British spy jailed with Muller, 'he was just an ordinary stoutish little man with a florid complexion and drab fair hair cut en brosse, the sort of man, whom you would not look at a second time if you met him anywhere, and yet, one of the bravest and most determined men imaginable.'”

Many times the plotters would pass on intelligence about Hitler's plans, but he would change them and consequently their intelligence would be wrong. Several attempts on Hitler's life failed because of timing, equipment failure or because Hitler seemed to have a diabolical guardian. One time a bomb actually went off next to Hitler, but he survived. Another time the plotters could have shot him at a meeting, but instead planted a bomb on his plane disguised as a bottle of cognac. The bomb failed to go off which illustrates the maxim that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Although this is not an apologia for Pius XII, he comes off looking very good. His detractors waited until he was safely dead before claiming that he didn't speak up against Hitler. Nobody ever denounces the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Methodists, the Dalai Lama, Zoroastrians or the Baptists for their “silence,” only Pius XII.

Pius coordinated with Jewish rescue groups to help them escape Europe, funneling money through various countries, but the groups would not accept Catholics of Jewish descent so he could do little for the latter.

One of their plans that has backfired badly was a common currency. Muller theorized that if Europe was linked economically it would prevent future wars. They probably didn't foresee Europe becoming a unified mega-state in which national borders mean little or nothing and where the whole world seems to be entitled to move there.

Considering the number of plotters and their positions – many were high in the military – it is surprising that they were not discovered sooner. The book also shows that there were many who wanted Hitler gone, but were afraid to act or thought that fighting against their own government was treasonous. Seeing as how many of the plotters were captured and killed it is understandable why they didn't want to get involved. That's the way most people are everywhere.

As Johnny Rivers sang, “Odds are he won't live to see tomorrow,” many of them didn't, but a few did and Mark Reibling has written a riveting account of them.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Comcast - Xfinity Nightmare

If you're thinking of dealing with Xfinity/Comcast, maybe you should look elsewhere if you have any other options. They have printed at the bottom of an email they sent me “Expect Superior Service.”
If you should fall victim to such expectation you will be bitterly disappointed.

For the past several years I had been using Clear Internet, but the company was bought out and shut down. Xfinity/Comcast is available in my area, so I called them about service. They asked if I currently had cable and I told them I did not.

They said I could get 3mps (or something like that) service for $19.99 per month and a $59.95 installation fee. I called back a week or so later and went through the rigamarole of qualifying. I was given the figure of $87.00 for my first bill.

I was sent an email on December 14, 2015 telling me that the installer would come by between 8:00 and 10:00 A.M. the next day. As it so happened, I got a call about 9:30 saying that the installer couldn't arrive until 5:00 – 7:00 P.M. so I was going to get a $20.00 credit.

Around 6:00 or so the guy showed up and noted that I didn't have a cable. I told him that the company had asked me if I had cable and I told him I didn't. He estimated the approximate distance that they would have to run the cable at ¼ mile and called in to advise that they needed to send the construction crew to run the cable because of the distance. When he got off the phone I asked him how long it would be before the construction crew ran the cable and he said “About a week.”

I didn't see or hear anything else from them so I called on January 5, 2016 and was told that somehow the job had been put on hold, but that they were going to change the deal to 5mps for $9.95 per month for the first year. January 10, 2016 I got another email scheduling the installation for the following day from 5:00 – 7:00 P.M. I got a call that the guy could come early, which was fine, but when he arrived he said something about my not having a cable and I told him that the first guy had already advised them of that. He tried to run the cable, but thought that is was too far, so he called a supervisor who came out and measured the distance which was something like 350 feet, not the ¼ mile that the first guy had estimated and advised the company about. They stayed about 2 hours or so and took pictures or video and did a lot of talking on the phone. The supervisor said they needed to send the construction crew (which I already knew by this time) and that they would advise. Later that day a bucket truck from Comcast showed up, which I assumed had something to do with the construction crew, but when I walked toward him he drove off without saying anything.

I went in and called Xfinty/Comcast and was told that they would send somebody the next day. January 12, 2016. Next day around 2:00 P.M. a guy showed up and couldn't do it because I needed a “tap” which of course the company already knew, but kept wasting my time and the time of its subcontractors. I went back in and called to advise that they needed somebody that knows something about scheduling and coordination so that there is some minimum level of efficiency and competence.
January 14, 2016 a guy came around 10:55 A.M. and measured the distance again and told me it would be $468.00 to run the line.

Around Noon I called and got somebody named Lequan or something like that who could tell me nothing except that he would have the construction people call me. I told him I didn't need them, I wanted somebody who had some decision making power, but all he could do is to say repeatedly that he would have them “give me a call.” My biggest question was why the price went from $50.00 to $468.00 after they already knew the distance (actually the distance was much less than the ¼ the first guy had told them) they would have to run the cable. Why did they keep sending out people who didn't have the capability to do the job? After the first installer came, the company knew what the situation was.

I finally decided to call Clark Howard's help line ( 404-892-8227, M-F, 10am-7pm ET.) and they gave me the number (215 665-1700) of the Comcast Corporate Office. They probably should see if they can get the first three numbers clanged to 666 instead of 665, but that's for them to decide.

I called the office of the president and got somebody named Mariah who said she would assign it to somebody who would call me the next before 12:00 Noon. About 11:30 the next day somebody named Sam called and said she would investigate it and get back the next week, but that she had 60 cases so it might take several days, but to send her the email quoting the price, which I did. She gave me her direct number (615 874-7471) and told me she worked between 11:00 – 8:00 P.M.
Below is my fruitless correspondence with Sam G. with case number etc. omitted.

Sam: Here is the January 5, 2016 email. The first man came on the 15th of December and said he couldn't install it because the connection was about 1/4 mile away. This was sent after that (obviously), but the second man they sent (and the third) all had the same capability as the first. This is in reference to ESL ******. I hope you can read this as this is all typing on one line for some reason

To: Sullivan

Jan 21 at 8:14 PM

Dear Chris Sullivan,
I wanted to follow up with you regarding your request for new service. I had a chance to review the information that you provided regarding the installation charges. The $50 installation charge that was referenced in the letter only referred to the installation of your service inside the home. However, the quote that was provided of the $907 amount involves rebuilding on the outside of your property in order to make your address serviceable. Once that amount has been satisfied then the construction department can begin the process of rebuilding at your property to make it serviceable.
Comcast strives to provide outstanding customer service and I appreciate your bringing this matter to my attention.

Sam G.
Executive Customer Relations
Comcast | Big South Region
Office: 615-874-7471 /615-750-8953
Office Hours: Tue - Sat: 11am -8pm (CT)

To: Sam G.

If this is the case I should have been told that after the first person came in December. Why did they keep sending people who couldn't do the job? Why did they quote a price of $50.00 after the first installer had advised them of the situation?
Comcast has wasted over a month of my time and several hours of its sub-contractor's time. There seems to be an unbelievable level of incompetence in the scheduling and installation departments...
As far as the $907.00 quote, this is the first I've heard of it.

I got no response.

As a post script, I have no complaints about the sub contractors they sent out. All were unaware of the situation and had no way to deal with it. When I mentioned the incompetence of the office people one of the guys looked disgusted and said something like "Yeah, it's the people in the office." 
I had a modem that I had bought at Walmart which I returned. When I mentioned Comcast at the return desk the clerk launched into a diatribe about how they had made a mess of her bill and was charging her for something (a phone, I think) she didn't even have.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Planet Of The Slaves

Mendax News Service

I must be one of the very few people who has never seen any of the Planet of the Apes movies, but around the same time of the first one there was a commercial failure made called Planet of the Slaves.

If I remember correctly it was produced by Milton Mayer, with a screenplay by Lysander Spooner and starred a B-grade actor named Robert Nozick who plays the protagonist W. L “Bill” Garrison.

Garrison and his band land on a planet that is governed by a kakistocracy of omnicompetent – or so they think – men. The people seem happy and brag to the visitors about their freedom and how they have all kinds of rights that are protected and enumerated by their foundational charter. The visitors discover that the people of the planet are known as the Snacirema and that they are hospitable to strangers, but easily herded into a sort of unanimity of thought. There are a few independent thinkers, but they are derided as “Nockites” or “Remnantists.”

After a few days of intermingling, Garrison becomes convinced that all the supposed rights and freedoms the Snacirema brag about are illusory, in fact he becomes convinced that they are slaves.

His first inkling is when Ollie Holmes, one of the people he has befriended mentions that he has to send the government part of his wages or he will be jailed or have his property seized. Garrison is incredulous, but Holmes explains that it's only one percent and that it is the price of civilization. Garrison tries to explain that it isn't the amount that makes him a slave, it's the fact that the government has a superior claim to the fruits of his labor. Holmes is unconvinced.

A few days later, Garrison discovers that the people are compelled to send their children to school and that the government operates a huge network of schools that teach many things that the parents find repugnant. There are some people who teach their children at home and there are a few private schools, but they aren't free like the government schools.

The Snacirema maintain an enormous military with land, sea and air forces in which boys are required to register for service in if called. The chances of actually being called are very small since the whole apparatus is for defense, not aggression, and they haven't been attacked in over seventy years. Still, Garrison doesn't see how compulsory service is compatible with the freedom he keeps hearing about.

One day, as Holmes is taking Garrison to see the Thomas W. Wilson Memorial, they are stopped by a Compliance Officer – sort of like police – for not paying alimony and not having insurance. Garrison asks the officer how he knew that Holmes hadn't paid alimony and the officer explains that there are tag reading cameras everywhere that alert the officer if someone is “out of compliance.” After they are on their way again Garrison tells Holmes that he doesn't see how mass surveillance is compatible with freedom. Holmes explains that it's no big deal if you have nothing to hide and that he'll get matter resolved.

The next day Garrison finds that there is a meeting of Nockites at the Horatio Bunce Auditorium that night. He decides to go and see what their opinions are, but he can't persuade Holmes to accompany him since they are viewed as kooks, so he has to go alone.

When he gets there he sees that it's a very small group and they all seem to know each other and suspect he's some kind of spy or agent provocateur. He explains that he is from another planet and is only studying their beliefs and customs. A man named Fishel Chodorovic introduces himself as one of the group's founders and launches into a litany of objections to the way the planet is run and explains that the people are slaves without chains.

Garrison doesn't contradict Chodorovic, but asks him why he thinks as he does since most of the people seem to be perfectly happy or at least accepting of the situation.

Chodorovic responds that the people are bound with mental chains almost from birth and that they are firmly fastened by the compulsory school system which those in charge style “education.”

Garrison: Why don't the people just refuse to send their children to be indoctrinated?

Chodorovic: Most of the people not only don't object, they think it's a good idea to have compulsory schooling and if the parents don't send the children the children will be taken away and become wards of the state. The people are inured to control by everything they see and hear. Is something harmful? Outlaw it, or license it. There is a license for everything. Do you want to get married? You need a license. Do you want to braid hair? You need a license. Do you want to grow tobacco or peanuts? You need a license. You need a license to do everything: sell real estate, carry a gun, practice medicine, operate a motor vehicle, fly a plane, operate a business, practice law, sell used cars, cash checks, put up a sign, hold a garage sale, hunt or fish, dance in a strip club, sell alcohol, operate a boiler, sell firearms, sell insurance, ad infinitum. Then there are permits which are licenses by another name, building permits, electrical permits, plumbing permits, tree-cutting permits, etc. There are also requirements that you do as you're told: wear your seat belt, buy insurance on your car, buy medical insurance, keep your grass cut below a designated height, tag your car and your dog. The people have accepted control over everything.

The control is so complete that politicians seeking office promise to cut income taxes or “reform” the code, but never to eliminate and forbid income taxation. It is taken for granted that government has first claim on all income and can raise or lower its share at will.

There are prohibitions against having certain plants because somebody thinks you might do something harmful with them. Imagine that, outlawing plants! There are also certain drugs and treatments you aren't allowed to use because they are “unapproved.” The great god government has decreed that you can't use them, so needless to say they aren't covered under your mandatory insurance.

Garrison: That does sound like government is more intrusive than I had heard, but how does it keep track of who's doing what?

Chodorovic: Everybody is required to send in a tax return with their address and an identifying number unless they didn't have any “taxable income.” To claim dependents, each one also has to have a number.
To open a bank account you need a number and the banks have to report any “suspicious activity.”
It's considered suspicious if you structure you banking transactions to avoid being reported.
There are tag readers that record your location and time. All of your mail is photographed front and back. All of your electronic communications are intercepted and stored. It's not known if it's being done, but you could be tracked and recorded continuously by having a phone on you.

Garrison: Do you think it's possible to reverse this?

Chodorovic: It's an uphill battle, but if I could do one thing with the wave of a magic wand it would be to forbid government involvement of any kind in schooling. No compulsion, no certification, no textbook advice, no grants of money or property, no teacher licensing, no tax credits, no nothing. And if I had a second wave of the wand I would utterly forbid any taxation of income from whatever source derived. Without funding there can be no tyranny.

Garrison: Well, I've got to be leaving for home tomorrow, but if I ever get back to Earth I'm going to see how you're progressing – or regressing – with your program of deconstruction.

Chodorovic: It's at least a fifty-year project.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Building A Bug Out Bag

Bug Out bags used to be an item unfamiliar to most people, nowadays there are any number of sites selling ready-made bug out bags, and lots of others advising what to put in one.

Some of the advice as to what to include seems premised on the idea that the person bugging out is going to have motorized transport or a covered wagon with a yoke of oxen to pull it. There is so much stuff that a person couldn't possibly carry it any distance.

The most likely scenario that I see myself bugging out from is some sort of disaster (natural, financial, social) where the government is going to take charge and help everybody by corralling them in the Super Dome or its equivalent. This is to be avoided at all costs.

In such a situation it would be advisable to head for the woods unless you have a mountain cabin or beach house or something similar, in which case you wouldn't need much of a bug out bag. With this in mind I present my idea as to what I think is necessary, or at least very useful.
A few items in the bag. Note double-sheave pulley blocks, salt and small file.

 My number one priority is fire starting and I have lots of redundancy in that department. My bag has waterproof matches, magnifying glass, magnesium fire starter, Bic multi-purpose lighter, vaseline coated cotton balls and a can of Sterno. The Sterno can be used for starting stubborn material or for cooking on. Sterno is also available in a plastic bottle, but it seems more likely to be punctured in that form and lacks the cooking option.

For a cutting implement I have an Estwing carpenter's hatchet. The reason for this is that it is all steel and is almost indestructible. The carpenter's hatchet has a hammer head on the backside and a nail puller in the blade. The hammer head works much better than using the back side of a conventional hatchet. A machete would also be useful, but I haven't found one that I think is worth buying.
Popeil's Pocket Fisherman

Back in the '70s, Ron Popeil proclaimed it "The fishing invention of the century!" which probably overstated things a bit, but the Pocket Fisherman is almost tailor made for an emergency fishing expedient. Shakespeare makes a telescoping rod called "Travel Mate" which
might be as good or better, but takes up more space. A gill net is also very useful.

I have three leg-hold traps which will provide you with more game than a days worth of hunting. These are suitable for catching possum, raccoon, coyotes, bobcats and other small game. It is very socially unacceptable to have leg-hold traps so they will almost certainly have to be purchased online.

Traps never sleep and they don't make any noise like a gunshot, which could be very important. I think it makes sense to have as many of these as you can reasonably carry.

Everybody has paracord and so do I, but I have included two small double-sheave pulley blocks. These vastly increase a person's pulling power and weigh almost nothing.

Salt, Stanley cooker and cups.
Stanley makes a handy little stainless steel cooker with two plastic nesting cups. The cooker has a top and a folding handle. I don't like plastic, but it won't break which is an advantage over glass and it doesn't conduct heat when you're trying to drink out of it which metal cups do.

An 8 X 10' heavy duty tarp is useful for many things. Larger might be better, but larger means heavier. The standard tarps are pretty well worthless since they tear easily. The HD is twice as heavy, but it's better than twice as good.

A Melitta filter cone with filters found its way into the bag for at least two reasons. The obvious one is that it can be used to make coffee with, but it can also be used to filter (not purify) water to remove sediment, bugs and whatever else won't pass through it.

US Army Survival Manual FM 21-76 should probably be in anybody's bag unless he's Jim Bridger or an Indian Chief.

Almost everybody advises carrying enough water to cross the Sahara desert, but since I'm in Georgia, water is not a problem at all. All I need is a way to purify it. It seems that people forget that water is very heavy and if you carry enough to drink in one or two days, you can't carry anything else. At 8.34 pounds per gallon, it doesn't take many gallons to add up. As far as edibles, I have a few cans of sardines and some MREs, but food is really another thing. This bag is devoted to tools.

A multi-tool is super handy (even if you aren't bugging out) and I have an old Gerber 300, I think it is. It's very good, but I've had it about 15 years and most of Gerber's products have declined drastically in quality, although I don't know that the multi-tools have. Leatherman makes a 'Super Tool 300" that looks good, but I haven't used one. A general rule in almost anything is, don't buy cheap junk. I can never remember an occasion when I was using a tool and wished I'd bought the cheaper one.

Most of the other stuff in the bag is pretty conventional. A military signal mirror, P38 can opener, bottle of Excedrine, hydrogen peroxide, 2 wash rags, a bar of Fels-Naptha soap, which is a laundry soap, but is useful for washing off poison ivy and also seems to help somewhat on bug bites, iodine, honey, dental floss, needles, small file, Repel insect repellant (DEET free), box of salt, 150 feet of MIG wire, 1 sheet of emery cloth, small flashlight, compass, plastic bottle with graduations, small bottle of bleach, slingshot, bottle of DMSO, cheap gloves with plastic coated palms and fingers, comb, tweezers, disposable razor, colloidal silver, 2 carabiners and a small flip open mirror with a standard mirror and a magnifying mirror for getting stuff out of the eye.

There should also be a high quality knife for skinning and dressing fish and game. Lots of modern knives look like something out of a Boris Vallejo painting rather than a useful tool. Avoid "fantasy" junk. The salt is useful for seasoning, preserving game and as a wound disinfectant. Honey can also be used on cuts and wounds as well as sweetening the coffee that you make with your filter cone.

Although I don't have any guns in the bag, it's good to keep in mind that a common caliber is the practical thing to have. Any .22 LR and a .308 Winchester or 30/06 would serve well. Since I'm in Georgia, dangerous game isn't a problem and most game can be killed with a .22 LR, but for deer, hogs and black bear the .30s would be useful.  Lots and lots of people have some firearm that fires .223 Remington, but it's way more than you need for squirrels, coons, possum, rabbit, etc. and not very good for hogs, deer or bear.  You might have a .264 Win. Mag. or a .257 Roberts that you shoot really well, but forget about finding ammo in an ordinary store selling ammo. Also keep in mind that the centerfires attract a whole lot more attention than the rimfires. A shotgun would be nice, but the ammo is bulky and heavy. If you have a bug out partner it might be reasonable for one of you to have a shotgun.

Coleman makes a skillet with a folding handle, but it has a non-stick surface which I don't want and it has very mixed reviews, so I'm leaning toward the much heavier (3 lbs.) 8" cast iron skillet. Coleman also makes an emergency blanket and poncho, both about the size of a cigarette package, but much thinner. Emergency is the key word here. You wouldn't want this to be your primary gear.

If you have pre-selected a place or places to go, it would be a good idea to have a topographical map of the area. It would also be a good idea to go there (assuming it's legal) and camp to familiarize yourself with the area, game and vegetation. The compass and map will come in handy if the battery dies in your Magellan.

This is a project that will never be completely "tuned." If you have any ideas (and why they're good) I'd like to hear them.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Anti-War Songs

This will be a continuing work, I think

Londonderry Air or Danny Boy - Judith Durham

Willie McBride or The Green Fields of France

Johnny I Hardly Knew You - The Irish Rovers

The Band Played Waltzing Matilda - The Irish Tenors - Liam Clancy

Universal Soldier - Buffy Sainte-Marie - Donovan - Glen Campbell - Scruggs & Flatt

Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival

The Forgotten Soldier Boy - The Monroe Brothers

War - Edwin Star

I Didn't Raise My Boy To Be A Soldier - The Peerless Quartet

I Ain't Marching Anymore - Phil Ochs

The Americanization of Emily - "War is not moral" clip
Simple Song of Freedom - Bobby Darin

Gordon Lightfoot - The Patriot's Dream(Original Studio Recording).wmv

Country Joe McDonald - I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die Rag

Southampton Dock - Pink Floyd

Black Sabbath - War Pigs

One Tin Soldier - The Original Caste [Original]

30 Days Back - The White Buffalo

Joey White - The White Buffalo

The Stanfields - Ship to Shore

Michael Franti & Spearhead - Time To Go Home

Old Crow Medicine Show - Big Time In The Jungle

Travelin' Soldier - Dixie Chicks

With God on Our Side - Bob Dylan

Lyndon Johnson Told The Nation - Tom Paxton

Billy Don't Be A Hero - Paper Lace

The Town I loved So Well - Luke Kelly

Cops of the world - Phil Ochs

In The Army Now - Status Quo

Twilight Zone, "No Time Like The Past", aired on 07 March 1963.- Clip

Bring 'em Home - Pete Seeger

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Ohio 1970 Kent State University

The Bankers and the Diplomats Are Going in the Army - Michael Cooney

Hero of War Lyrics - Rise Against

Belleau Wood [Garth Brooks]

 "Blessed Are The Landmines" Brave Saint Saturn - Five Iron Frenzy Side Project

Kenny Rogers - Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town + Lyrics

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Populist Pair Spreads Fear, Hate

March A.D. 1996

Veritas News Service – Controversial populist presidential candidate Iesu Nazarenus was accused of spewing hate today when he called a group of rabbis a “brood of vipers,” “whited sepulchers,” “hypocrites,” “blind fools,” “blind guides,” etc. 
Nazarenus has also been linked to right-wing militia leaders when it was reported that a physician who would identify himself only as Luke overheard him advising one of his supporters who was without a sword to “sell your tunic and buy one.” He is also related to the religious extremist of the desert who goes by the name of John. John apparently has very low self-esteem, telling some of his listeners that he is not worthy to loosen Nazarenus' sandal strap and that he must decrease and Nazarenus increase.

Since his appearance Nazarenus has sown division wherever he goes. In one place he actually told some of his followers, “I have come to bring a sword, not peace,” and he is quoted by informed sources as saying that “brother will hand over brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise up against their parents and put them to death” because of him or his ideology. Environmentalists are outraged at his killing a fig tree, and his supporters', mostly uneducated blue collar workers, fishing without a license. He also reportedly said to some of his more fanatical followers that he had “come to cast fire upon the earth.”

ATF officials are investigating reports that he made wine some time back, at the request of his mother apparently, during a wedding reception without paying any tax thereon.

In another investigation, FDA officials have received reports that he used unapproved methods to cure blindness. Eye-witnesses (no pun intended) said that he took spit and mud and spread it on the eyes of some homeless person supposedly born blind thereby effecting a cure. If proven he could be prosecuted for using unapproved quack remedies.

Nazarenus appears to be no friend of working people either. Informed sources report that he sided with a vineyard owner who paid his workers the same amount, even though some worked only one hour while others worked the whole day. This is a blatant case of equal pay for vastly unequal work.

Animal rights activists oppose him vehemently because of his statements that “you (his followers) are of more value than many sparrows” which they see as a dangerous kind of speciesism. Also his apparent indifference to fishing and animal sacrifice have outraged many. Nazarenus has also been accused of nativisim and anti-gentile bias because of his admonition, “Do not go in the direction of the Gentiles, nor enter the towns of the Samaritans” when sending out his provocateurs. He even referred to a Gentile woman (a Syrophoenician) as a dog, telling her when she requested his assistance, “It is not fair to take the children's bread and to cast it to the dogs.”

His running mate for the vice-presidency, Paul T. Arsus, is widely known as a homophobic hate monger. In a speech at Corinth he told those present, “Do not err, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, not the effeminate, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor the evil tongued, nor the greedy will possess the kingdom of God.”

Pundits have said that the pair has virtually no chance of being elected, but if they were, they would have to tone down their rhetoric and move toward the middle to govern.

Even Pontius Robertson of the Jellyfish Coalition has distanced himself from the pair, supporting instead Boob “Windsock” Dole. Robertson and his spokesperson Caiphas Reed decided to support Dole when it appeared to them that Nazarenus and Arsus were not team players who could work with the Democrats to help support the family and return the country to its moral foundation.

Republican front-runner Boob Dole has called them extreme, and President Clinton has advocated the forming of a new agency to be called the Bureau of Free Speech, to monitor and regulate certain types of speech that spread fear, intolerance, homophobia, sexism, speciesism, sightism, adultism, lookism, racism, nativism and all types of unapproved thought and speech.

Some of the more conservative religions have actually agreed with this extreme rhetoric but have admitted that anyone espousing their views would be unelectable.

Other responsible conservatives have said Nazarenus would be more electable if he dumped Arsus in favor of a more moderate choice such as Barrabas Powell.

This was originally written in 1996 as a satire on the conduct of people like Pat Robertson and Ralph Reed.